Energy Jokes
What part of the jail do they keep energy criminals in?
Fuel Cells
How is energy conservation like a baseball team?
They can both use a switch hitter.
How do we know that wind power is so popular?
It has so many fans.
Jokes
Why are computers so smart? Because they listen to their motherboard.
USING HUMOR IN THE CLASSROOM
LAUGH – IT’S GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH! The field of gelotology is exploring the benefits of laughter. It was brought to the public’s awareness in Norman Cousins’ memoir Anatomy of an Illness. Cousins found that comedies helped him feel better and get some pain-free sleep. That’s because laughter helps the pituitary gland release its own pain-suppressing opiates. What can laughter do?
· Lowers blood pressure
· Increases vascular blood flow and oxygenation of the blood
· Gives a workout to the diaphragm and abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles
· Reduces certain stress hormones such as cortisol and adrenaline
· Increases the response of tumor- and disease-killing cells such as Gamma-interferon and T-cells
· Defends against respiratory infections–even reducing the frequency of colds–by immunoglobulin in saliva.
· Increases memory and learning; in a study at Johns Hopkins University Medical School, humor during instruction led to increased test scores
· Improves alertness, creativity, and memory
Humor and creativity work in similar ways, says humor guru William Fry, M.D., of Stanford University–by creating relationships between two disconnected items, you engage the whole brain. Humor works quickly. Less than a half-second after exposure to something funny, and electrical wave moves through the higher brain functions of the cerebral cortex. The left hemisphere analyzes the words and structures of the joke; the right hemisphere “gets” the joke; the visual sensory area of the occipital lobe creates images; the limbic (emotional) system makes you happier; and the motor sections make you smile or laugh. So let’s laugh. What makes you laugh?
Laughter Heals:
Helps reduce inflammation throughout the body — good news for your heart, brain and circulatory health.
“Massages” internal organs with effects similar to exercise. ( It’s sometimes referred to as “internal jogging”)
Provides a light workout for the heart, lungs, diaphragm and even the abdominal muscles.
Releases tension in the muscles of the face, neck, shoulders and abdomen — all common areas where we tent to hold lots of tension.
Helps lower blood pressure and cortisol levels, decreases pain and can also help stabilize blood sugar.
Stimulates chemical changes in the brain that help buffer our bodies against the cumulative effects of stress.
Burns a few extra calories: According to a university study, just 10 -15 minutes worth of chuckles throughout the day can burn up to 40 calories.
Stimulates the release of endorphins, the mood-elevating brain chemicals behind the “runner’s high.”
Is physically and mentally therapeutic — an involuntary response that positively alters mood instantly.
Laughter contrasts with many more conventional aspects of non-verbal communication. It seems to create euphoric states in the performer. There is some evidence to suggest these euphoric states are associated with the release of endorphins.
Singing and dancing have long been recognized as important components in the process of bonding whole communities
Although laughter forms an important part of human non-verbal communication, it has received rather less attention than it deserves in the experimental and observational literatures. Laughter is associated with feelings of well being which may be due to the release of endorphins and the hypothesis was tested in a series of six experimental studies using change in pain threshold as an assay for endorphin release.
The results show that pain thresholds are significantly higher after laughter than in the control condition. This pain-tolerance effect is due to laughter itself and not simply due to a change in positive affect.
It is suggested that laughter, through an endorphin-mediated opiate effect, may play a crucial role in social bonding.
University of Oxford researchers found that a good laugh is linked with feeling less pain, and it’s likely because laughing spurs the body to release feel-good chemicals called endorphins, which can also act as painkillers. Laughter has long been viewed as good medicine.
Laughter has been shown in past research to boost heart health by lowering blood pressure just as well as cutting salt. One study showed that laughter could cause the linings of people’s blood vessels to expand as much as aerobic exercise or using statins.
CLICK ON LINKS BELOW FOR MY FAVORITE JOKES:
Energy Jokes
Bee Jokes
Insect Jokes
Snow Jokes
Bird Jokes
Garden Jokes
Bunny Jokes
Weather Jokes
Halloween Jokes
Animal Jokes
Science/Math Jokes
How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
Weather Poetry
Who Can See the Wind
Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I,
But when the leaves are dancing, the wind is passing by.
Who has seen the wind? Neither you nor I,
But when the trees bow down their heads, the wind is passing through
And pruning off some branches and feeding the earth for you.
Little Wind
Little wind, little wind blowing through the trees
Little wind, little wind, I feel the gentle breeze.
Big wind, big wind flying kites so high.
Big wind, big wind gusting through the sky.
The Wind
As I feel the cool soft breeze rustling through my hair
I see the wind picking up leaves and tossing them in midair.
I see the wind bend the tops of the trees
And then I run for cover in my home,
And wish for that soft gentle breeze.
Fall Time
Blowing leaves, glowing leaves crisp as autumn weather,
Pick a few, kick a few, and stick a few together,
Rake a pile; make a pile, takes a while to do it.
When you’re done have some fun running and jumping through it!
The Thermometer
The thermometer has a little red line,
That jumps right up when the weather is fine,
But when it’s cold as everyone knows,
Down to the little round bulb it goes.
It scrunches all up in a tight little ball,
As if it can’t stand the cold at all.
Then the weather begins to change, and
The little red line begins to climb again!
Apple Poetry
Apples
Red apples, Green apples, Yellow apples, too.
Big apples, Little apples, Shiny apples, too.
Crunchy apples, Soft apples, Rotten apples, ooh!
An Apple Chant
Apples in the attic, apples in the hall,
Apples in the summer, Apples in the fall,
Apples make you healthy. Apples make you tall.
I will eat some apples,
I will eat them all!
Apple Magic
By Margaret Hillart
In every single apple lies
A truly magical surprise.
Instead of slicing down,
slice through
And watch the star
appear for you!
The Apple Tree
Away up high in an apple tree
Two red apples smiled at me
I shook that tree as hard as I could
Down came those apples and mmm were they good for me!
PICKING APPLES
Picking Apples (can be sung to the tune of Frere Jacques)
Picking apples, picking apples,
‘Til we’re done, ’til we’re done,
Picking all the apples, picking all the apples,
‘Til we’re done, til we’re done.
Climb a ladder, climb a ladder,
In a tree, in a tree
Hello, everybody; Hello, everybody,
Look at me, look at me.
Making applesauce, making applesauce
Swish, swish, swish, swish, swish, swish
Pouring the applesauce, pouring the applesauce
In a dish, in a dish.
Eating applesauce, eating applesauce,
Yum, yum, yum; yum, yum, yum.
Eating all the applesauce, Eating all the applesauce.
Now we’re done, now we’re done.
Johnny Appleseed Song
Oh, the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord
For giving me the things I need: The sun, and the rain, and the apple seed;
The Lord is good to me.
For every seed I sow an apple tree will grow,
And there will be apples there, enough for the whole wide world to share;
The Lord is good to me.
A-P-P-L-E
(to be sung to B-I-N-G-O)
I know a fruit that grows on trees
An apple is its name oh
A-p-p-l-e
A-p-p-l-e
A-p-p-l-e
An apple is its name oh
In summer and in early Fall
It’s time to pick an apple
Chorus
It may be sweet or may be tart
It’s red, or green, or yellow
Chorus
A McIntosh or Granny Smith
A Winesap or Delicious
Chorus
Make applesauce or apple juice
Or apple pie with apples
Chorus
Five Red Apples
Five red apples in a grocery store
Bobby bought one and then there were 4
Four red apples on an apple tree
Susie ate one and then there were 3
Three red apples. What did Alice do?
Why she ate one and then there were 2
Two red apples ripening in the sun
Tommy ate one, and now there was one
One red apple and now we are done
I ate the last one and now there are none!
Eat an Apple
Eat an apple; (Bring right hand to mouth)
Save the core. (Close right hand in fist)
Plant the seeds. (Bend down touch hand to ground)
And grow some more. (Extend both arms)
I went to the orchard and what did I see?
A big red apple on an apple tree.
The wind came “whoosh” and blew all around,
And then the red apple fell to the ground.
I picked up the apple, and took a bite.
Mmmmm, it was good, so juicy and white.
I ate and I ate, and I ate it all up.
But I saved the seeds in my little green cup.
The Apple Tree
This is the tree with leaves so green.(make leaves with fingers outstretched)
Here are the apples that hang in between (make fist).
When the wind blows (blow) The apples will fall (falling motion with hand)
Here is the basket to gather them all.(use arms to form basket)
An apple sat on the railroad track its heart was all a flutter.
Around the bend came number 10, and smoosh smoosh, Apple butter.
Apples and Bananas
I love to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
I love to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas
I love to ate, ate, ate apples and bananas (long a sound)
I love to ate, ate, ate apples and bananas
I love to eat, eat, eat epples and benenes ( long E sound)
I love to eat, eat, eat epples and benenes
I love to ite, ite, ite ipples and bininis
I love to ite, ite, ite ipples and bininis (Long I sound)
I love to oat, oat, oat opples and bononos (Long O sound)
Repeat
I love to ute, ute, ute upples and bununus (Long U sound)
Repeat
I love to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas.
The Apple Star
Take an apple round and red.
Don’t slice down. Slice through instead.
Right inside it you will see a star as pretty as can be!
Tiny Apple Seed
(Tune: Insey Weensy Spider)
The tiny little apple seed was planted in the ground,
Down came the rain, falling all around.
Out came the sun, as bright as bright can be,
And the tiny little apple seed became an apple tree!
(Use a flannel board (Make small brown seed, some blue raindrops, big yellow sun, a tree and a dozen red apples for it.
Apple Roll Chant
5 little apples in the bowl
1 fell out and started to roll
It bumped the table and hit my feet!
How many apples are left to eat?
4 little apples in the bowl…
Then 3, 2, 1 little apple in the bowl.
Picking Apples
Pick the apples, put them in your basket,
Pick the apples, put them in your basket,
Pick the apples, put them in your basket,
Way down yonder in the apple orchard.
Apple Rhyme
Apples, apples, good to eat.
Apples, apples, juicy and sweet.
Pick them from a tree, buy them at a store,
Apples, apples, WE WANT MORE!
Apples
Red apples, Green apples, Yellow apples, too.
Big apples, little apples, Shiny apples, too.
Crunchy apples, soft apples, rotten apples, ooh!
APPLES
by Helen H. Moore
Apples, apples, what a treat,
sweet and tart and good to eat.
Apples green and apples red,
hang from branches overhead,
and when they ripen, down they drop,
so we can taste our apple crop.
Snow Poetry
Snowman Wisdom: The key to life is to be a jolly, happy soul.
Snow
The snow fell gently all the night.
It made a blanket soft and white.
It covered houses, flowers and ground
But did not make a single sound
Kids are Like Snowflakes
Kids are like snowflakes
No two are the same!
Each of us is different starting with our names.
My hair is _______ as you can see.
My eyes ar ______ as they can be.
________ and _______ I like a lot,
But ____ and ____ are not so ho!
All these things make me, me.
As unique as I can be!
Snowy Day
Let’s watch the snowflakes floating by
As they fall from the winter sky.
Look, there’s a big one spinning around,
Dancing from above to the frosty ground.
Snowflakes
Look at the flakes, so sparkling and white,
Such a delightful sight.
Soon to be,
A snowman for me!
The Snowman
Roll him and roll him until he is big.
Roll him until he is fat as a pig.
Give him two eyes and a hat on his head.
He’ll stand there all night while we go to bed.
A Little Snowman
I’m a little snowman
Short and fat.
Here is my nose
And here is my hat.
When the sun comes out
I cannot play,
I simply slowly melt away!
Funny Snowman
I made a funny snowman,
One frosty and wintery day.
But when he met the sunshine,
He melted on his away.
Snowflakes Falling Down
Tune: Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Snowflakes falling down,
Falling to the ground.
Big and white and fluffy flakes
That do not make a sound.
Snowflake Dance
Dance like snowflakes in the air
Dance like snowflakes in the air.
Whirling, twirling snowflakes in the air
Whirling, twirling snowflakes in the air
Here and there and everywhere!
SNOWY DAY IN THE EVERGLADES
I had a dream it snowed last night
Across the Everglades.
And all the gators marched around
In a snowy big parade.
They all wore funny wooly caps
Upon their gator heads.
And when they slid down hilly slopes,
Their bellies became their sleds.
