What do Hawian pumpkins say? Happy hula-ween
How do you fix a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch
What did the mother ghost say to her children when they got into the car? Fasten your sheetbelts.
What did one ghost say to another? Do you believe in people
What kind of pants does a ghost wear? Boojeans
If witches went to school what would be their best subject? Spelling
Why do vampires brush their teeth? To prevent bat breath
How does a witch tell time? With a witch watch
How do ghost like their eggs? Terrifried
Where’s the best place to build a haunted house? On a dead end street
What do baby ghosts wear on their feet? Boo-ties
What is a monsters favorite game? Swallow the leader
What does a ghost have in his morning coffee? Scream and sugar
Why was the mummy angry? He got a bum wrap
What is a mummies favorite kind of music? wrap
What do ghosts eat for breakfast on Halloween? Shrouded Wheat. Ghost Toasties. Scream of Wheat. Terr-fried eggs. Rice Creepies.
Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank.
How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween…
How do witches keep their hair in place while flying? With scare spray…
Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don’t have any body to go out with…
Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They’re so wrapped up in themselves…
What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends…
What type of dog do vampire’s like the best? Bloodhounds…
What do birds give out on Halloween night? Tweets…
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
What do you call a witch in the desert? A sandwitch.
Where did the vampire open his savings account? At a blood bank.
What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern? A plumpkin.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin goblin.
Why don’t skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
What’s a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.
Why do mummies have so much trouble keeping friends? They’re too wrapped up in themselves.
Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos.
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its circumference? Pumpkin Pi.
Where do baby ghosts go during the day? Day care centers.