How do you pa compliments to bread? You toast it.
- What does a gardener get when he plants a light bulb? A power plant
- What is the saddest fruit? Blueberries
- Why is the blueberry so sad? Because it’s blue.
- Why did the orange go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well
- Why are bananas so popular? Because they have a-peel
- Why is honey scarce in Boston? Because there is only one B in Boston.
- What kind of shoes do you make out of banana skins? Slippers.
- What happens when a banana sees a ghost? It splits.
- How do you make a strawberry shake? Take it to a horror movie.
- Which fruits are never lonely? bananas and grapes because they hang in groups.
- What does a banana need to become class president? Appeal
- Who is the leader of the popcorn? The kernel
- Why does Santa clause have such a big garden? So he can ho ho ho
- Why did the raisin go out with the prune? He couldn’t find his date.
- What did the lettuce say when caught in a snowstorm? I’m frozen salad
- What kind of cheese would a mouse build his house out of? Cottage cheese
- Why did the man bury money in his flower garden? To make the soil rich
- Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
- What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
- What kind of socks does a gardener wear? Garden hose.
- “What does the letter “A” have in common with a flower? They both have bees coming after them
- What gets bigger the more you take away? A hole.
- What did the banana do when it saw the monkeys? Split.
- What is a Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
- What do you call a grumpy and short tempered gardener? A SnapDragon.
- Where did the vegetables go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar.
- “Why don’t you ever iron a four-leaf clover? You might press your luck.”
- What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
- What is green and goes to a summer camp? A Brussels’ scout.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you get if you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.
Honeydew you want to come out tonight?
- What vegetable do you need a plumber for? A Leek.
- What runs but never gets tired? Water.
- Why is it not wise to tell secrets in a cornfield? There are too many ears!
- What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me!
- What happens when you sit on a grape? It gives a little wine!
- Why did the tree trimmer keep falling asleep? Because he was always sawing logs…
- What is small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish!
- What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside? Corn.
- Why did the Tomato go out with a prune! Because he couldn’t find a date!
- How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash
- What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern? Plumpkin
- What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.