How do you pa compliments to bread? You toast it.


  • What does a gardener get when he plants a light bulb? A power plant
  • What is the saddest fruit? Blueberries
  • Why is the blueberry so sad? Because it’s blue.
  • Why did the orange go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well
  • Why are bananas so popular? Because they have a-peel
  • Why is honey scarce in Boston? Because there is only one B in Boston.
  • What kind of shoes do you make out of banana skins? Slippers.
  • What happens when a banana sees a ghost? It splits.
  • How do you make a strawberry shake? Take it to a horror movie.
  • Which fruits are never lonely? bananas and grapes because they hang in groups.
  • What does a banana need to become class president? Appeal
  • Who is the leader of the popcorn? The kernel
  • Why does Santa clause have such a big garden? So he can ho ho ho
  • Why did the raisin go out with the prune? He couldn’t find his date.
  • What did the lettuce say when caught in a snowstorm? I’m frozen salad
  • What kind of cheese would a mouse build his house out of? Cottage cheese
  • Why did the man bury money in his flower garden? To make the soil rich
  • Why do potatoes make good detectives? Because they keep their eyes peeled.
  • What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
  • What kind of socks does a gardener wear? Garden hose.
  • “What does the letter “A” have in common with a flower? They both have bees coming after them
  • What gets bigger the more you take away? A hole.
  • What did the banana do when it saw the monkeys? Split.
  • What is a Honeymoon Salad? Lettuce alone, with no dressing.
  • What do you call a grumpy and short tempered gardener? A SnapDragon.
  • Where did the vegetables go to have a few drinks? The Salad Bar.
  • “Why don’t you ever iron a four-leaf clover? You might press your luck.”
  • What do you call it when worms take over the world? Global Worming.
  • What is green and goes to a summer camp? A Brussels’ scout.
  • Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
  • What do you get if you cross a four leaf clover with poison ivy? A rash of good luck.

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you want to come out tonight?

  • What vegetable do you need a plumber for? A Leek.
  • What runs but never gets tired? Water.
  • Why is it not wise to tell secrets in a cornfield? There are too many ears!
  • What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me!
  • What happens when you sit on a grape? It gives a little wine!
  • Why did the tree trimmer keep falling asleep? Because he was always sawing logs…
  • What is small, red and whispers? A hoarse radish!
  • What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside? Corn.
  • Why did the Tomato go out with a prune! Because he couldn’t find a date!
  • How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste!
  • What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash
  • What do you call a fat jack-o-lantern? Plumpkin
  • What do you get if you divide the circumference 
of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Pumpkin pi.