Animal Jokes

What should you do when a bull charges you? Pay him.
How do you stop a bull from charging? Take away his credit cards.
What did the gorilla use to fix the sink? A monkey wrench.
Why did Tarzan lose the tennis match? He was up against a cheetah.
What does a frog do at a baseball game? He catches all the flies.
What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat? A centipede with sore feet.
What did the horse say when she finished eating her hay? That’s the last straw.
Why did the snake shed its skin? To get to the other hide.
Why was the fox upset? Everyone kept hounding him.
Why did the police officer give the dog a ticket? He was in the no barking zone.
What do tooth fairies bring to sharks when they loose a tooth? A sandollar
What does a cow say at night? Moon
Who do fish hire to clean their houses? Mermaids.
What’s the difference between a cayote and a flee? One howls on the prairie and the other prowls on the hairy.
What kind of cheese would a mouse build his house out of? Cottage cheese
What do beavers eat for breakfast? Oak meal
Where do fish deposit checks? In river banks
Why did the lion spit out the clown? He taste funny
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he was leaving? Bison
How does a dog earn a living? Picking up scents
What newspaper do reptiles read? The scaly daly
What has one horn and gives milk? A milk truck
What kind of cat should you never play games with? A cheeta
What animals need oil? Mice because they squeek
Why is a dog so hot in the summer? He wears a coat and pants.
What is a frogs favorite game? Hopscotch
Why does a giraffe eat so little? Because a little goes a long way.
What did the duck say when it went shopping? Put it on my bill.